“Some catastrophic moments invite clarity, explode in split moments: You smash your hand through a windowpane and then there is blood and shattered glass stained with red all over the place; you fall out a window and break some bones and scrape some skin. Stitches and casts and bandages and antiseptic solve and salve the wounds. But depression is not a sudden disaster. It is more like a cancer: At first its tumorous mass is not even noticeable to the careful eye, and then one day — wham! — there is a huge, deadly seven-pound lump lodged in your brain or your stomach or your shoulder blade, and this thing that your own body has produced is actually trying to kill you. Depression is a lot like that: Slowly, over the years, the data will accumulate in your heart and mind, a computer program for total negativity will build into your system, making life feel more and more unbearable. But you won’t even notice it coming on, thinking that it is somehow normal, something about getting older, about turning eight or turning twelve or turning fifteen, and then one day you realize that your entire life is just awful, not worth living, a horror and a black blot on the white terrain of human existence. One morning you wake up afraid you are going to live.

In my case, I was not frightened in the least bit at the thought that I might live because I was certain, quite certain, that I was already dead. The actual dying part, the withering away of my physical body, was a mere formality. My spirit, my emotional being, whatever you want to call all that inner turmoil that has nothing to do with physical existence, were long gone, dead and gone, and only a mass of the most fucking god-awful excruciating pain like a pair of boiling hot tongs clamped tight around my spine and pressing on all my nerves was left in its wake.

That’s the thing I want to make clear about depression: It’s got nothing at all to do with life. In the course of life, there is sadness and pain and sorrow, all of which, in their right time and season, are normal — unpleasant, but normal. Depression is an altogether different zone because it involves a complete absence: absence of affect, absence of feeling, absence of response, absence of interest. The pain you feel in the course of a major clinical depression is an attempt on nature’s part (nature, after all, abhors a vacuum) to fill up the empty space. But for all intents and purposes, the deeply depressed are just the walking, waking dead.

And the scariest part is that if you ask anyone in the throes of depression how he got there, to pin down the turning point, he’ll never know. There is a classic moment in The Sun Also Rises when someone asks Mike Campbell how he went bankrupt, and all he can say in response is, ‘Gradually and then suddenly.’ When someone asks how I love my mind, that is all I can say too”

What does one wear to their own graduation ceremony? I’d like to rock up in my Jeffrey Campbell’s but i’d like to think that somewhere down the road in life, i’ll look back at the pictures and i’d rather be wearing something more.. classy.

so these shoes.. to die for by the way, are the perfect in between shoes and I WANT THEM. God, i need a job already to support my shopping addiction.

1.// T.U.K. Suede Mondo Round Creepers

2.// Wildfox Couture Granny’s Dog Barefoot Sweater

3.// Lolli Swim Sweet Heart Cut Out Bikini Top & Take It Easy Bow Bottom

4.// Converse Seed of Chucky Taylor Platform Sneakers

5.// Wildfox Couture Bel Air Sunglasses

6.// UNIF Cake Top

click on pictures to link to the Dolls Kill website to buy

…to think that only a few months ago i was driving past this little town in Texas to get to Austin.

However, i know Texans and i believe that those injured or need help are in good hands. You couldn’t ask for friendlier characters than those you will find in Texas. Thoughts go out to family and friends in and around the area <3

Just found out about this relatively new shop which has opened called & OTHER STORIES it’s a sister brand from H&M but a wee bit cheaper than COS and i personally think it’s much more fashionable. I fell in love with these platform ankle boots they’re even leather! .. and to top it all off they’re under 100 pounds.