Get me out of here..

the only place i think i’ll ever be able to find real friends is in sweden. people are just as fake here as they are in the states. i just don’t get it. life isn’t about getting shitfaced and then talking shit about people behind their backs. yeah i can talk shit too, but if someone asks me about it i’ll say it to their face as well. i don’t have a problem with that. i also don’t have a problem with anybody here it’s just that all the girls have at least found one person to chill with and what not and i just miss my panda. school hasn’t even started and im already thinking about looking into schools in sweden for next year. i just don’t know anymore. maybe im not strong enough for this city. feeling pretty damn depressed and oh look at that, nobody to talk to. knew this was a mistake. im cutting myself off from certain people. i know i shouldn’t but i can’t help it. being alone feels good sometimes. it also gets me in trouble other times. i just want everything to disappear. i dont want to be sick anymore.