One sentence and a spiral downhill later..

It’s funny how a girl can say all she wants about me and you know what.. I couldn’t give less. Tells me I’m a slut. I’m worthless. I’m a bad friend. I’m selfish. I know it’s not true. She’s worth less than the toilet paper I wipe my ass with. I can’t be bothered dealing with bullshit anymore. I’ve done it for years. I’ve let it tear me apart as well. No more. I know who my real friends are. However someone who I truly truly care so much about makes one comparison and I fall apart. It tears me to shreads. It hurts me in places I never wouldve known possible. It makes me feel smaller than I’ve ever felt before. Am I worth nothing? Do they really see me that way? If so, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself. Im hurt. Disappointed. Aggrivated. I’m sick. Sick of being vunerable, wondering if this is really it? Am I gunna be this sensitive the rest of my life? Am I going to care so much about others opinions? It hurts to be compared to someone you despise. Knowing that someone thinks your alike. Knowing that person thinks I’m alike with a person i wouldn’t mind having out of my life completely. For forever. Someone who’s been a complete waste of my energy and time. Someone I wish I never wouldve known existed. Its like telling me I have no standards. I have no respect for life. For friendship. Tearing down my selfesteem with one sentence. Tearing apart feelings of accomplishment that have taken years to gain. Recovery. Therapy. Medicines. All of it down the drain. Making me feel like I’m the smallest piece of trash in the world. I’d rather you tell me i’m like a piece of shit. I’ve dealt with bulimia. Substance abuse. Severe depression. Bad friends. Bad company. I’ve dealth with so much more and been through so much. So don’t you dare ever tell me something so ludicrous as that ever again. I know I’m worth more than that. Don’t hurt me.