Lost

I don’t feel the way I used to anymore. Nothings changed, yet I’m not happy. I feel fat all the time. I hate myself for letting go. I know I shouldn’t feel like this but I can’t help it. A negative comment sends me swirling downhill. Maybe it’s finally all out of my system. Maybe the Prozac has let me go. I’m standing on my own two feet and hurting on my own two feet. feeling the pain, sadness, and hurt. Knowing I can change it at any time. Yet that’s not how I want to go about it. I don’t want to be sick. I want a healthy life. I want to be able to love, feel the ups and downs, live, and fucking eat a meal without thinking of where it’s going. I’m not happy with my body.