alexandra said she saw this and thought of me.. makes me wonder if i should be worried?

either way i looked at the tumblr site and found some other ones that i felt funny. (no mum & dad im not an alcoholic, just a student.. living in england).. click on images to make them bigger.

went for pre-drinks at anna’s on thursday night. fun going out with some new people

got a cab to Luxx and waited for what seemed like ages to get in, we were there waaay to early. oh wells! it was fun though, good music and a lot of dancing! a bit too many drinks as proven by my hangover yesterday, but still worth it.

after anna and meher left, me and alex kind of realised we wanted to go as well. more or less wanted to go get food. so don’t you think we end up in a cab all the way to south kensington for mcdonalds? deary me. the lengths you’ll go to get drunk food.

saw pendulum and my favorite dj tiesto play yesterday in victoria park! somehow made it all the way to the front and i’m paying for it today with all my bruises from the barrier.

was a good time, this i was a bit drunk in the beginning but that slowly faded away with the time while we were dancing around.

it was a good experience, think tiesto might be a bit past his prime, but still worth seeing. was a bit upset that he didn’t play just be, but hey we can’t have it all eh? then in the end simon got me up on his shoulders and that was quite the view of the crowd and whatnot, pretty cool!

just woke up. its like a sauna in the mornings in emmelie’s apartment. and the fact that its like 30 degrees outside doesn’t help either. oh well, i’m not complaining… too much!

yesterday was a long day of nothingness. friday night got a wee bit too much alcohol in my system. so yesterday was tv, take out, and football. pretty chilled out anyways.

today we’re heading out somewhere so we can be in the sun and swim (maybe), we’ll see!

there’s no other way of saying it. i’ve messed things up for real this time. i’ve done something that shouldn’t have happened. i’ve treated someone who cares for me, and whom i love with complete disrespect. i’m too embarrassed to write what i did but, that doesn’t change anything. i’ve done it, i’ve fucked up. i don’t know where to go from here, what to do. i’m so lost and angry it’s ridiculous. i’m angry at myself, i hate being me. i hate being a bitch, i hate doing stupid shit like this. it’s not okay. i hate not being able to ‘handle my liquor’. i can’t drink alcohol, i can’t do it. it gets to my head and my ghosts come out to play. i can’t stop. i can’t remember. it’s not me. it isn’t me. it’s the alcohol taking over my body. it’s stupid and i will stop it. i wont do it anymore. i wont jeopardize relationships with people for a couple of drinks. i can’t even look in the mirror today i’m so disappointed. i’m disappointed in myself, i hate it so much. i hate being in this position. i shouldn’t be here, i shouldn’t have done it. sorry doesn’t cut it anymore, it’s not enough. no matter how many times i say please and sorry, nothing will change. nothing can change what i’ve done, nothing. it hurts to an extent i didn’t know existed.

so the reason i didn’t update yesterday was that thursday afternoon/night involved a little bit too much alcohol. started off meeting up with one of simon’s best friends james on oxford street. he was with a couple of guy friends from back home and they had come to london to see john mayer. so we ended up have our first drink in a bar called the phoenix, then they had to leave for the concert. went to topshop, found tom and then met up with two girls they had gone to school with. then we went to a place called all bar one.

it’s a nice place, me and simon went to one by the london eye and really enjoyed it. this one wasn’t as impressive. the place we were sat at was highly annoying for me. really tall seats so my feet didn’t touch the ground and i just couldn’t get comfortable and on top of that my legs were falling asleep. i was so happy to get out of there that i left my phone. lucky i noticed quite quickly ran back and the waiter had it and handed it to me straight away. thank god for that because if not my night would have been ruined. there would’ve been a pissed of little me and a whole lot of tears. then we moved on to a cocktail bar.

the girls got their drinks they were keen on drinking and we continued with the red wine. let me just mention that at this point i was getting on it. and the plan was that when the girls finally left we would go home, but alas! james called and the plans changed immediately. we met up with them on oxford street and then started walking towards a club. so strawberry moons it was!

the walk there was fine. except for the fact that i saw all the lucky bastards sat outside the Apple store waiting for the friday release. i want one! i want one! i want one! strawberry moons wasn’t too packed but the fact that the dance floor was halfway empty and the dj was playing everything i wanted made it amazing! usher-OMG and sweet child of mine were the nights favorites, at least for me. i was the only girl and the guys seemed to want to chill, but nope. i would simply not have it. dragged everyone onto the dance floor and to be honest i must have looked like a pimp, haha kidding! from there we moved on yet again..

yeah, i ended up with 5 guys at a strip club. little blonde girl in a strip club. geeez, it must have been a sight to see! i was the only girl in there… besides the one behind the bar and of course the dancers.  i can’t explain it but unimpressed and shocked kind of puts my feelings into perspective. let me just tell you it’s nothing like it is in the movies. the girls are not good looking. the club in it self was not nice. it was… trashy. not what i expected. not the image i had in my mind. so to say the least you wont be seeing me in one anytime soon. after that we left at like 6 in the morning to get the first tube home.. must have both fallen asleep because we ended up in brixton.. so off the tube to get yet another one. didn’t get to bed until 8 in the morning and i’ll tell you this much, when i woke up around noon i felt like death. so yes being thirsty on a thursday was the reason i didn’t update all day yesterday and didn’t move a muscle either.

I’m not sure which it is in this situation. Before i start to explain i’ll just say that at age 16 i was no where near the perfect daughter. i drove drunk. i did drugs. i drank beyond necessary means. i did all the things my parents asked me not to do. However, when they did find out what i was up to there was always punishment. groundings, things being taken away, stripped of privileges. So then to my point.. there’s this Swedish blogger. She’s 16 years old. She drinks. She smokes. She writes horrible things. All on her blog. My question then is.. where are her parents? Surely with the status she has they must read her blog. Do they not care? Surely they could stop her if they wanted to. Currently she’s in greece with a friend, and all you see is pictures of her drinking.

She’s even put up a picture of her sunbathing topless. Surely all things she will regret later on in her life. Unless she wants to continue on the road she’s on. I know i didn’t. I wanted change, i wanted to act like an adult. (Granted to this day i still don’t always act like an adult). I don’t know how to react to something like this to be honest, because if it was me i would’ve been grounded like never before. It’s embarrassing to look at. Embarrassing for  her and for her parents.

im pretty sure the people who work at this club recognize us by now! we always come dressed up and theres always a shit load of us! yesterday we got to go in the vip line, what up! haha no i dont really see the point.. we stood there freezing and i had to pee so bad. so worth it though. got free entry, vip, and a couple free drinks. dangerous though. i was quite drunk last night! thank god theres always a bunch of us so that i dont have to deal with annoying guys or anything, too many of us for people to come around.  although some bitch pulled off my tail yesterday i wasnt very happy! theres a ton of pictures of us up on all the websites too, hilarious! all in all a good night. even though i was a bit moody and drunk. paying for it today for sure!