leaving Dublin today. dads moving to sweden in a couple of weeks so who knows when ill be back here again! i love this city and ill miss it. specially the apartment here, the bed, the view, the people, the pubs and clubs, everything! i’ve had a lovely weekend but it’s sadly back to real life now.. wearing monki skirt today!

went around Dublin today looking for jeans. i found a pair. although i felt they were too expensive. they’re cheaper in the states texas this summer please? they fit PERFECTLY. ive never tried on a pair of jeans and loved them immediately. however they were the smallest size and the sales woman said they’d stretch. so no, im not paying 200+ euros for them. i would no doubt pay the 165 dollars though. i loved them that much. oh well, will have to go searching in london!

went to a lovely restaurant close to the quays here. its a modern thai place which me and pappa went to with pinky! i had one of the best white wines ive had in ages! muscadet i think it was? i could be horribly wrong! either way the spring rolls were good and my main dish (cashew-nut chicken) was AMAZING. i haven’t had a dinner out like that in a long time. i loved every bit of it. it’s a bit sad leaving dublin, it really is. i love it here. its a mini, mini london. pinky’s always fun to go out with as well. but london is calling. and i cant give london up.

going in to the city, not that im not in the city. just going into the heart of dublin. canceling my irish bank account. then browsing, and maybe if im lucky some shopping?

let me just say that it wasn’t as impressive as the guinness brewery. however it was quite entertaining, wish our tour guide would’ve done a better job though! had a lovely taste of jameson whiskey after the tour. i got a whiskey and ginger ale, dad took one straight. tasted his and made some pretty weird facial expressions. not enjoyable! mine was at least drinkable

well well well, went to lady gaga’s concert last night. it was her ‘monsters ball’ tour. two words, not impressed! not at all. it actually quite upset me! like i don’t think ill be able to listen to her music the same way again. she ruined one of my favorite songs and she had a break in between basically every song. like come on!! i honestly dont care if you change ten times. plus some of the outfits were horrid anyways. her face looked like a drag queen, her hair was yellow and horrifically curled as well. one of her dancers looked better than her! plus every time she took a break it ruined the mood in the o2, like people would start to get into it and then the break would ruin it, so i sat down the whole concert as well as everyone else. not the kind of concert i’m used to going to. i’d have to say it’s one of the worst concerts i’ve ever been to! at least me and my dad had a nice couple of drinks after

yesterday we went to trinity college to see the book of kells and the long room.

today its the jameson distillery for some whiskey!

gotta do everything last thing before pappa moves away to sweden! i do love this city though.

went out to my favorite place here in dublin tonight, cafe en seine. had a lovely chat with my pappa but didn’t want to wear ourselves out for tomorrow, lady gaga concert! although it’s funny how hard it was to leave london, i love that city and i love being there. as well as the people i’ve got there <3 but nothing beats the apartment my dad’s got here in dublin, especially not seven sisters hahaha.

probably the last time ill go to dublin, at least to visit my daddy. anyways so im packing today and then going to the airport around lunchtime tomorrow! also i get to see lady gaga in concert this weekend! wondering if my dads going to enjoy it, ha! oh and the mens hockey in the olympics has some important games on saturday. sweden plays finland i think and canada plays the u.s. oh la la!

i was so happy. so happy. i haven’t felt that way in ages. i had an amazing weekend with my dad. i was happy when i got back. felt fine. confident even. and tonight it all went to shit. i hate it. i hate being me. i hate being so damn insecure. i hate the fact that one person can ruin everything for me. im tired of feeling like this.i want to be happy. i want to enjoy being alive. i dont want to drag myself out of bed in the morning. i dont want going to school to be a struggle in the morning. i dont want this anymore. i want a life. a good one. i was so happy for the last year, and its all gone down the drain. i dont want to go back to what i was. i cant handle it anymore. im about to give up. as much as i want to stay strong, theres people always pulling me down.