Sitting in the living room watching the british music awards alone, Alicia keys and jay z came on and wow. Seeing Alicia keys live would make me so happy, there’s so much meaning behind her music for me. Almost started crying to myself! Just remembering those hard days in the hospital where her lyrics got me through the tears. In the car to and from the hospital her music was there. Afterwards her music was still there. Now a year later her new album helps me yet again. Seeing her live would put a seal on my recovery. its gunna be two years soon enough in june. i wish i had someone to go to the concert with here in london though :/ emmelie, you up for a trip here?

daddy,

i remember being little and you saying i would never marry anyone else but you, and to be honest i’ll be lucky to find a man as good as you. i love you more than words can describe. same goes for you emmelie and mamma. but your the only man in my life. the one who’s there unconditionally. who looks after me. who doesn’t care about how much money you spend on me. who doesn’t mind taking me for a meal. who doesn’t mind paying for a drink. who doesn’t get mad when i breakdown. who doesn’t hate me for making mistakes. the only man who will be there no matter what i put you through. i love you daddy. can’t wait to see you.

daddy

L’i love it. i absolutely love it. chilling at emmelie’s apartment with her boyfriend, robert, and his friend! oh and plus ISABELLA!!!

going to the movies tonight with my sister to see a swedish movie actually. heard its supposed to be good. ive read the beginning of the book, but couldnt be bothered to finish it since i dont like reading in swedish!

it’s about time someone invents one. or at least a simpler and faster way to travel. flying is such a pain. definitely had a huge blonde moment yesterday and didn’t quite get to the airport on time. and of course ryan air is such a greaaaat company that i didn’t have to pay 100 pounds or anything just because i missed my flight. waste of money i swear. ugh i was so mad i thought i was just going to sit down and cry. ridiculous. anyways im here now. after a lovely trip. naaawt. but its whatever. im in love!!! emmelies apartment is amazing. its so cute and comfy. i love it. then again i could love anything compared to station court right now, haha.

im going to swedenland on monday. and yep, i get to see my sister i am excited. and hopefully she is as well, since i am staying at her apartment, hehe. plus we have to celebrate her promotion. good work emps. i knew you’d do it!

nothing a hot shower couldnt fix. feeling better now. going to the mall to buy some things for my sister and then lunch with allie. havent seen her in over a year!!! aah!

woke up. looked outside. it’s snowing! not nearly as much as it would in Sweden and it’s obviously not going to stay. will be slush soon enough actually. but still… snow! remember last year when me and my sister made snow angels and i got snow all down my pants.. haha. miss her tons!!

one year and a half on december 28th. no more of the horrible days and nights. no more putting my family through hell everyday. no more bulimia. depression. substance abuse. gone.

Alicia Keys has a new album out. i want i want i want! her last album meant so much to me. got me through all those hard weekends sitting in the hospital. in between therapy and meals that’s all i had. listened to it every morning as well when my dad or mom drove me to the hospital when i was an outpatient. so happy im not in the same place anymore. a year and a half soon!