never thought about it before. i know i used to be a spoiled little bitch but that’s another subject. sitting here packed and ready for the airport, i feel like i dont wanna leave. these are my people. its where i grew up. its where i fit in. people dont judge you here. the girls i have here arent immature, trashy, or backstabbing. my guys will stick up for me no matter what. they respect me, and most importantly they have respect for themselves. ive weeded out bad ones and im so not up for doing it again in london. its hard when your hearts in 4 different places at once. i love being here, but nothing compares to london. i can be a snobby little bitch and complain about shit to my friends and its alright. cause we’ve all grown up in west plano. we’ve all been through so much stupid shit together. we’ve watched friends go to rehab, be sent to hospitals, sent to boarding schools. we’ve watched them get arrested on various occasions. but it truly is a bubble of its own. families have money, lawyers on call. no one ever really feels the affects of breaking the law. its ridiculous really, but i still love it. the lifestyle here is comparable to beverly hills yet ive traded it for a ‘poor’ life london (although rich in so many ways.). ask me why? because i wanted to live. i know that i wouldnt change a single thing ive done. ive learned more about myself and my friends then i ever thought possible, and if worst comes to worst in london its good to know i always have a home to come back to if needed.

i had such a good day. went to lunch with allie which was AMAZING can’t believe we even got around to ordering food, haha. talked non-stop. absolutely adore that girl. hope she comes to london this summer! could use a familiar face every once and a while. after that i went ’shopping’ with ito! only got a pair of leggings which was much needed and everything for my sister. im doing good! saving money saving money. i wanna go back to london, but i wanna take my fwends wif me!! loved all the talks about ‘class’ today, and how much i bitched. my friends here know who i am and they don’t try to change me. they put up with my whining, the deal with my bitching, and i love them for it.

we ended up going to the galleria instead! i got a lovely down jacket from tommy hilfiger. love love love it! wearing it today since it might snow, in texas!! crazy stuff. then after i went out with ito. went to blaynes apartment, then andrew and chris’ house, then d’s house. then home! didn’t even realize after a while what time it was. so good to be back with friends t

so i really enjoyed my long weekend at Simon’s up north. really relaxed and laid back, none of the bullshit you get here in London sometimes. Spent most of the time laying around, eating good home cooked food, and looking at the snow and/or playing in it! met some of his friends as well which was nice. To be honest if i wasn’t going home today and then to mexico i never would’ve left! comfortable bed and everything! plus when i did leave his mother made sure to take care of me. i got bagels, fruit and coke for the way home and breakfast in the morning so i wouldn’t have to go to tesco’s. an absolutely adorable family.

all the boys before going out on night

little cousin Aiden and our snowman!

21 days away!! thats only three weeks left. i am dying with excitement! absolutely love christmas. have a nice little break. chill around on the beach in mexico, and then see some friends around new years and whatnot. plus i get to be with my parents yayayayayyayyayay!

well your wrong. you think you’re the shit, i think you’re shit. i don’t give a fuck if you’ve got issues with me anymore. i tried to ask what was going on, i tried being nice. i tried being there for you. well guess what.. fuck you. don’t you dare come running back to me acting like you even care. you were fake from the start. looking for someone to hold your hand because you were alone. well i hope you realize that it’s not going to get you far in life being so fake. also just to remind you babe, jealousy is a sin. you complain about not being ‘popular’ well turning your back on the ones who cared from the start isn’t a good way to go. oh and don’t bother talking to me when it suits you cause no one else is around. don’t bother thanking me for all i did for you. all you want is attention, im not even going to pity you. im done with you. over it. so im saying goodbye, but before i do let me just remind you that karma is a bitch. what goes around comes around, better be ready.

I USED TO CARE A LOT ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT OF ME. THEN I LEARNED I DEFINITELY CAN’T PLEASE EVERYONE. SOME PEOPLE WILL LIKE YOU & SOME PEOPLE WILL HATE YOU BUT I DON’T REALLY CARE EITHER WAY, I’M NOT LOSING SLEEP OVER IT.

ever feel like you’ve been totally replaced? and not been missed for a second? fell like you’ve been left behind in the dust without a single soul looking in the rearview mirror. nobody worried, nobody who cares. nobody who even bothers to see if you wanna join in or if your alright. we went through so much together. you helped me immensely. how could you just let it all go like this? how can you just walk away and pretend like it never happened. i miss you, i really do. at the same time though, you’ve shown me your true colors. how childish you really are. how much you care about yourself. in a way im happy im not wasting my friendship and time on you. because your truly not worth it if you treat me this way. how can you just push someone away who was there for you when you needed someone? i dont get it. sometimes i wonder if ill ever find any more true friends like the ones i’ve grown up with.

its gloomy outside and im a bit tired, didnt get a good nights sleep. what to do today? ill most likely just fall asleep if i go to that museum so ill leave it for tomorrow or something. ugh. girls dinner tonight though!  yay