so yesterday was our freshers fair/BBQ and it was pretty good.

had a lovely caesar salad with a glass of wine, all free. then wandered around the freshers fair and signed up for some clubs, and got some goodies!

so far i’m really loving regent’s but when i talk to some of the other people they don’t seem too impressed… overprivileged or just not in the right place i don’t know.. all i know is i’m happy with my choice!

so i landed about 10 minutes before i should’ve, that’s always nice! dad was already there waiting for me so all i had to do was jump in the car and go!

we went to the grocery store to get some food and i’m so happy. fresh products. good bread. nice cheese. tofu. aah, i’ve missed a proper grocery store. seven sister’s tescos can screw itself!

then we ended up at grandma’s where im staying and dad’s been doing renovations and i have to say that it looks like a new house! really nice. so let’s so how the bed is shall we a good nights sleep without loud a******s in under me would be nice.

anyways i’m going to make a sandwich and enjoy the bread and cheese and yumminess!

it’s taken me a long time to realize the difference. i used to need drugs. yeah i thought i did, but my life is fine without them. i then wanted them. i wanted the drugs so bad. i wanted that high. i wanted to feel good again. but after a while i then again realized i didn’t want or need them. i thought i needed you. i needed the happiness and the good feelings you brought me. just like another fucking drug. every day i’ve thought to myself about how you’ve always put me last. your needs come first. your family, granted that’s pretty obvious. your friends. everything. your shit comes before me. and after feeling so helpless and unloved so many times it’s got me thinking. i mean nothing. you would replace me in a heartbeat. you treat me like im dirt sometimes. i know im not always easy to deal with, but some things don’t need to be said or done, and it’s to the point where i can deal with things on my own. i have people who love me. i don’t need you. i don’t need your approval. i don’t need you to love me. cause even when you won’t be there for me.. they will. i’ll still be standing on my own two feet. i hope that scares you, because it should. if you even value me just the slightest bit you’d realize what you will be loosing.