the weather plays a big part in whether or not i wanna go out and actually do things. went with Simon to meet up Jules in euston to go to a BBQ… little did we know that it was for his halls. Daphne came as well and after a while we felt very out of place and very .. unwelcome (can’t think of the actual word)? so we left.

went to Regent’s park and met James along the way, whilst loosing Jules and Daphne. Ate some strawberries, and olives.

Enjoyed the sun, since it’s meant to rain all weekend. Now i’m back home debating what movie to watch tonight!

im jealous. i am jealous of the people in the states finished with their first year at college. the people in sweden graduating. the people who know where their life is going. the people on their way to being graduated. the people getting to start fresh, and choose a school. here i am sat in the dark, wondering if i can even pass this year. if i don’t pass i loose my place at regent’s college. if i don’t i have no clue what to do. i don’t want to waste another year. i don’t want to do it. i don’t want to leave london. i don’t know how i’ll handle it. im scared. what if i fall apart. what if i turn back to what i was. if i pass i’ll still be worried. no place to live. no clue where to look for a place to live. no clue what to look for. no clue if i’ll be happy. no clue if it’ll be close enough to the college. no idea if i’ll be able to keep in touch with people from halls. scared to test my relationship. im scared. im scared i’ll be forgotten. replaced. placed in a line of importance. im scared of change.

one of the few pictures i have from the stop light party last night! i have a shit load to write about and put on here but right now i just enjoy the company of the people here in the halls too much to be locked up in my room! i dont have any lectures tomorrow only a welcome thing and then i need to go buy a bag for school. all my papers got soaked in the rain today but yeah we’re all going out tomorrow night as well so dont expect ANYTHING on thursday. im in school from 10 a.m. till 9 p.m. somebody shoot me now? really hope i can leave at like 5 or something.. i dont enjoy note taking that much

in london. with people from the halls here! must say some of them might drink more than they need but otherwise it was all good fun. im amazed that clubs still haven’t realized that someone has invented the air conditioning unit.. there fucking hot inside! i danced and sweated equally as much. kind of ruins your hair and makeup and what not, but whatever. i dont go out to look good, i do it to have fun. i met a bunch of new people and some really disgusting people on the way home. i cant believe some guys. they think they can just do whatever they want? its not like im parading around half naked, so why do they think its perfectly okay just to assume ill be interested or something? aah i dont get it. next night out is wednesday.. its a beach party, eeks. well see how that turns out

on our way to the subway

our two representatives on the left, i felt sorry for them. it must have been like babysitting trying to get some of us to come along and whatnot

some of us dancing, hot messes all of us!