its got it’s own bathroom, kitchen, and a little patio even! and in 7 days i get to move in. im sure there will be a lot of cleaning and fixing up but isn’t that the best thing about having your own place? doing things your way.

then in a month i start university at regent’s and it’s gunna be good. i’ll make it good.

GOOD-BYE STATION COURT, I WONT MISS YA!

look what i found in the club yesterday!

anyways.. met up with chloe after dinner since she was around yarm as well. went pub, wine bar, and then club.

ended up dancing in the keys, which was nice.. some girls started on chloe and her mom for some reason.. and then one asked simon if he wanted to have sex with her outside, haha classy nothern girls eh? but other than that, no more characters. you always seem to find them in the nightclubs!

left a bit before it closed and took a taxi home, only to get a foot rub from my dearest. ah spoiled much?

Emmelie and her boyfriend Robert are off to texas today. As much as i’m happy for them that they get a long three week vacation, i’m seething with jealousy. So hope you two enjoy your trip to Vegas with our brother, eat loads of good food, and of course shop

sitting on skype conference call with my mommy and emmelie. wishing we all had teleporters!

it’s taken me a long time to realize the difference. i used to need drugs. yeah i thought i did, but my life is fine without them. i then wanted them. i wanted the drugs so bad. i wanted that high. i wanted to feel good again. but after a while i then again realized i didn’t want or need them. i thought i needed you. i needed the happiness and the good feelings you brought me. just like another fucking drug. every day i’ve thought to myself about how you’ve always put me last. your needs come first. your family, granted that’s pretty obvious. your friends. everything. your shit comes before me. and after feeling so helpless and unloved so many times it’s got me thinking. i mean nothing. you would replace me in a heartbeat. you treat me like im dirt sometimes. i know im not always easy to deal with, but some things don’t need to be said or done, and it’s to the point where i can deal with things on my own. i have people who love me. i don’t need you. i don’t need your approval. i don’t need you to love me. cause even when you won’t be there for me.. they will. i’ll still be standing on my own two feet. i hope that scares you, because it should. if you even value me just the slightest bit you’d realize what you will be loosing.

Mommy bought me a top at Gilly Hicks, love their stuff. Wearing it with my kakis from Abercrombie & Fitch, and either they’ve gotten really baggy and i need to wash them again, or i’ve lost weight.  preppy and summery, now only if the weather would comply.

every breathe i take. it’s hard to go back to the student life when you’ve lived a perfect weekend in harmony with your family. my parent’s took care of me. i was spoiled. i ate and drank amazingly good food and champagne. i had one hell of a trip. an experience im sure i will never forget. it’s hard being away again. i felt like a kid. like if i scraped my knee both my parents were there to put a band-aid on it and tell me it would be okay. i had no worries. i had massive laughing attacks. i acted like a child with my sister. i was genuinely happy. whenever i woke up i woke up to smiling faces. i don’t get that here. i guess i’m just having a harder time than i normally do when i leave my family. i love you all. thank you for an amazing weekend.