Yesterday i spent pretty much every last penny i had in my bank account and i ended up with quite a slice of cake The dress above looks much better on, and the jump-suit beneath looks good even with tights on, so i think it’s ready for a night on the town…

so this is a christmas wish list, so i figured why not throw in some items that truly are on my wish list. one day hopefully i’ll be able to afford such a beautiful handbag.

until then, this mulberry bayswater leather bag will have to stay on my wish list.

After my two presentations yesterday i decided i needed a treat, in hindsight.. not a good idea. my bank account is screaming at me, specially since i haven’t got rent money for January. kill me now?

Any ways back to the point, went to the Littleton Arms in Mornington Crescent. I had two fish cakes and it was lush. I hate eating at home at the moment, just feels sad and pathetic and makes me feel sick, weird but eating out doesn’t have the same effect.. anyone else ever had this problem?

just had a nice lunch with Simon, went to the shop and my total for all of our food came to 1 pound.. made me happy. i’ve been spending way to much money recently. you want to know what the worst part of it all is? the money has only been spent on FOOD! went out with natasha on friday and spent TWO pounds on drinks.. and guess how much i spent on mcdonalds on the way home? three times as much. god im pathetic. need to sort my life out. i wish eating wasn’t necessary to live sometimes.

been sat ogling over all the beautiful things i’ve found on the internet. it’s probably good that i haven’t got any money or else.. i wouldn’t have any money? ah no difference there. oh well, i’ve decided to do 23 days of christmas on the blog. starting in december i’m going to put up one item a day… sneak peek..

off to dinner with Alexandra and Sophia tonight. after two full days inside working on coursework i’m nearly finished with my assignment and i’m in need of some air. just need to get out for a breather, and then i’ll probably have an early night back home. a) haven’t got the money to go out b) haven’t got the energy c) i’m sick so no alcohol for me

wearing my grandmothers lovely earrings she gave me.. think they’re nice. not heavy so i can wear them everyday if i like!

the best part about coming home? getting undressed and just throwing whatever you want wherever you want.

went out for a quick meal at vapiano. aaah, let’s just say i won’t be going back there on a friday night anytime soon. crowded, loud, and hot. not what i was wanting. plus my food was pretty rubbish. so there’s another ten quid down the drain.

god don’t even want to think about it anymore, such a waste. 

im so sick of thinking about this and im sure everyones sick of hearing me complain. why does everything revolve around money? and why do i never have enough? im so tired of having to ask my parents to send over money to my account, im sick of watching as the amount in my account dwindles down to merely nothing. i dont know how i’ve managed but the money was meant to last me until the end of november now isn’t even going to cover next months rent. im freaking out, im crying, im scared, im worried, i have no clue what to do. im fighting with the previous estate agents to get my deposit back with no avail. if i were to get that back then i could survive until the end of october, which is better than where im at now. i’d love to get a part time job but how the hell would i have time, between 6 modules at university im already freaking out. i never think of the external bills. internet, phone, weekly travel card, university books, this blog, summer holiday ect. i just hate looking at my account and realising that i’ve once again screwed myself over. so sick of being in this position. i just want to be self reliant again, i want cash flow. i want to work and see the benefits. i hate being a student, always poor, always relying on others to support me.

went for sushi yesterday for dinner (and i wonder why my money is non-existent?) no but really Bento Japan in Camden here has rolls that are pretty cheap. for example the california roll (6 pieces) is only 4 pounds! we had california roll, ebi tempura maki, and a spider monkey.. translation fried prawn roll and soft shell crab. *click on picture below to see bigger version

Monki, my absolute favourite store of all time, has opened in Selfridges here in London today! ecstatic or what? only problem is that this means more cash out of pocket for me…