it’s a weird situation. i guess money is always difficult. i just have never felt so helpless. wanting something, but not wanting it at the same time. realizing how much an education is going to cost you. living expenses. realizing you’ll be paying off a loan for the rest of your life. wondering if you’ll be happy. wondering if its worth it. wondering if you’re making the right choices.

i don’t want to wonder anymore. i don’t wanna regret any decisions. i don’t wanna be unhappy.

i want it to work out.

Pappa,

i love you more than words can say. you are truly the only man in my life. you are the strongest male i have ever met. i have infinite respect for you. never once have you turned your back on me. this is my time to repay you for all you’ve given me. for all the times you sat and watched me fall to pieces. for all the times i disrespected you. for all the times i cried out for you. for all the times mamma and i needed you. for all the support, for everything. i will stay strong for you. i will come visit you everyday. i will be there for you in any way you need me to be. stay strong. you will get through this. you will be the steel man, officially. the new pieces in your heart with allow you to get through life and love us all even more. be more passionate and do what you love most. knowing you.. id bet your going to be back skiing in dubai by the time christmas rolls around. i love you daddy. its my time to shine for you like you’ve shone for me so many times.