just been skyping with this boy named simon, he’s kind of annoying and a bit of a freak, but i gave him a kiss any ways…

Today’s been really chilled out and mellow.

Woke up around 11ish, went with my dad to lunch. Bought a couple of things we needed, including alcohol for this week at the cottage we’ve rented

Then when we got home and i was chatting on skype with Simon i started to break down. I don’t know what it is about money and things that revolve around money that really throw me out of the water. We were just chatting about nothing and i started crying. I couldn’t keep a face on, i just let myself break down.

It’s annoying showing others when I’m vulnerable, and i don’t like it, but what am i supposed to do?

Im scared and i’m worried. What if the money doesn’t last. What if i don’t find a place to live in that i’m happy with. What if, what if, what if. I hate money. I hate worrying about having it and not having it. About being able to live with it and live without it. I just don’t like it. Its too much, it gives me stomach pains and makes me want to curl into a ball and die. I can’t handle it.

thank god for skype. one of the best free downloads ever. being able to talk to people in other countries and video chat.. for free. i loves it!

anyways i’m about to have a quick chat with le boyfriend, that is if he ever decides to log on?

sitting on skype conference call with my mommy and emmelie. wishing we all had teleporters!

i’ve got a skype date with ito today. we’ve been trying to get our schedules to work together for ages, and nows the time!

last night i stayed up until like 4 a.m. talking to jonas on skype always nice to hear a friendly voice. this might be taboo for you americans, but im gunna write about it anyways. i take birth control cause my cramps are deadly. so yesterday i put in a new birth control ring (i dont have to eat a pill everyday). so while talking to jonas i started feeling nauseous. i took some ginger capsules (helps against the nausea) and ate some food. then when i went to bed i was fine, woke up at 6 a.m. decided to take some more ginger cause i felt horrible, but i guess i didnt take them in time. ended up throwing them up, but im thinking some of it was released into my system. normally ill lay awake shaking from the nausea and sickness and throw up for hours on end, but this morning it was only once so im thinking ill get this under control soon. you learn for every month. at least i dont feel sick EVERYDAY like i used to now. im getting somewhere!