leaving Dublin today. dads moving to sweden in a couple of weeks so who knows when ill be back here again! i love this city and ill miss it. specially the apartment here, the bed, the view, the people, the pubs and clubs, everything! i’ve had a lovely weekend but it’s sadly back to real life now.. wearing monki skirt today!
L’i love it. i absolutely love it. chilling at emmelie’s apartment with her boyfriend, robert, and his friend! oh and plus ISABELLA!!!
it’s about time someone invents one. or at least a simpler and faster way to travel. flying is such a pain. definitely had a huge blonde moment yesterday and didn’t quite get to the airport on time. and of course ryan air is such a greaaaat company that i didn’t have to pay 100 pounds or anything just because i missed my flight. waste of money i swear. ugh i was so mad i thought i was just going to sit down and cry. ridiculous. anyways im here now. after a lovely trip. naaawt. but its whatever. im in love!!! emmelies apartment is amazing. its so cute and comfy. i love it. then again i could love anything compared to station court right now, haha.
okay so the blog has been down. for ages i know. but it hasn’t been working, not my fault!!! i’ve come to so many conclusions in the last week it’s unbelievable and i’ve been so mad that my blog hasn’t been working as well. nothing at station court has changed and to be honest nothing ever will. british will be the way they are for forever, and as much as i despise parts of them.. i have to live with it, and i love some of them as well 
. i also realized how much i fucking love london. i dont want to leave here. i dont even want to live in sweden again. i love love love love love love london. its an amazing city. the people ive met and truly adore i want to keep for the rest of my life. they’re great friends. im not ready to leave this behind just because i cant get into a stupid university. im so sick of getting no’s. it’s not fair. i have the grades. ive done the work. so fuck you. im not going back to dallas. i know what will eventually happen. i will grow weak. i will do drugs and im not doing it. im not putting myself in that situation! i love stockholm but at the same time its too much like home. i want to be independent. i love being here. ive been happy here. i dont want to give it up because of university. i’d rather take a year off and try again. that’s not something i would even have considered a year ago.
left behind some of the most amazing people in Sweden when i moved to Dublin with my daddy. had a lovely house party at jonas’ thanks to his mommy! said goodbye to all my friends and got ready to move!
moved in with my dad in Dublin, Ireland. never loved an apartment so much in my life. went through a lot in dublin. found myself while my dad was working. had some amazing nights out as well 
two of the most amazing people ive ever been lucky enough to have in my life came to dublin for an insane week of shopping, touristing, and most importantly drinking!
then i had one of the busiest summer of my life. back and forth. going here and there. sweden, dublin, spain, dallas!
had an amazing 18th birthday as well! oh the lovely people i got to share it with <3
then after a lovely summer it was time to move.. again. this time i went to london, where i’ve met some amazing people, and some not so amazing. had my share of ups and downs in london. been extremely happy and loved every second of life and then ive been extremely upset and just wanted to leave. leave it all behind. i wouldnt change a thing though. some of the best things this year happened to me in london and i cant wait to see what next year brings!
then i went for a lovely, but cold, weekend up north with simon. had fun making snow angels and getting pelted with snow. weird yeah? would’ve been hard leaving if it werent for mexico!
had a great vacation with my parents in puerto vallarta mexico! enjoyed the sun, good food, and good drinks and now last but not least.. spending new years in dallas with my family and amazing friends! if you wouldve asked me in 2008 if i would trade london for dallas i wouldve said hell no. now coming back i miss it so much, i feel like i might end up back here sometime in the near future! HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!
woke up. looked outside. it’s snowing! not nearly as much as it would in Sweden and it’s obviously not going to stay. will be slush soon enough actually. but still… snow! remember last year when me and my sister made snow angels and i got snow all down my pants.. haha. miss her tons!!
im applying to different universities for next year because i am deeply disappointed in the one that im studying at now. i feel like im wasting a year on bullshit. learning to draw a line for two hours isnt what i paid for. i might as well have taken a night class in sweden and built my own portfolio, couldnt have been that hard. yet now im spending a whole year of my life on it. dont even know if this is what i want anymore. i wanna drop out and start over somewhere new. but im not going to give up yet. im gunna pull through this, no matter how much i hate it and then go harder next year at a better school. so a recommendation.. NEVER study at London Metropolitan University. none of my friends are satisfied either. its just a waste. so on the list for next year, if im lucky.. Cambridge, Oxford (both of those are a possible N O), Queen Mary University of London, University College London. 4 different engineering courses and one architecture. then i might even look into schools in sweden and the states.. why not?
catching up with myself in my head at the moment. listening to music chatting with my sister who i miss so dearly! planning a trip to sweden to see her and the family 
the only place i think i’ll ever be able to find real friends is in sweden. people are just as fake here as they are in the states. i just don’t get it. life isn’t about getting shitfaced and then talking shit about people behind their backs. yeah i can talk shit too, but if someone asks me about it i’ll say it to their face as well. i don’t have a problem with that. i also don’t have a problem with anybody here it’s just that all the girls have at least found one person to chill with and what not and i just miss my panda. school hasn’t even started and im already thinking about looking into schools in sweden for next year. i just don’t know anymore. maybe im not strong enough for this city. feeling pretty damn depressed and oh look at that, nobody to talk to. knew this was a mistake. im cutting myself off from certain people. i know i shouldn’t but i can’t help it. being alone feels good sometimes. it also gets me in trouble other times. i just want everything to disappear. i dont want to be sick anymore.
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