visited this girl’s blog which i normally don’t read cause i think she’s boring as hell.

either way there was a post about this shirt, which says ‘a real girl eats a 200 gram chocolate bar when she feels like it’.

i’m just frustrated with the amount of idiots there are in the world. she clearly only wants to make money off of the shirt and doesn’t give a fuck about eating disorders or has even bothered to try to understand.

if you have an eating disorder, it doesn’t make you less of a ‘real’ girl, or boy for that matter. we’re people too. we struggle and have issues, but we’re people. we’re real. probably more real than that snotty idiot will ever be.

another thing is when you’ve had or have an eating disorder.. do you really think you can just eat a whole chocolate bar? no. i mean sure i could’ve but it would’ve came right back up when i went to the bathroom.

it’s just so annoying seeing people say they understand when they clearly don’t. i don’t speak about politics because i’m not knowledgeable in that subject, so please don’t write about eating disorders when you clearly have no idea what a hell it is to live with.

so this could be an extremely stupid question. ive never really thought about it before but are there different languages in sign language? like do americans sign different than swedes would?

so im at the hospital yet again. the doctors are talking about letting dad go home tomorrow! yep, so well see how that pans out. my stupid iphone stopped working yesterday for no reason what so ever. so now ive downloaded the newest version and tried everything, yet nothing works. so im a bit irritated. im thinking about going to o2 and just getting a new phone number. im sick of dealing with all this jailbreaking and unlocking business. anyways im wearing my american apparel bronze tulip skirt with a unisex long sleeved shirt from them too. still no word from them.. not surprising i guess?

The more i think about it the stupider i think i sound. seriously.. i cant stay scared for the rest of my life of drugs. there will ALWAYS be drugs out there, always someone who takes them. always someone who grows, deals, transports. im not going to be able to hide for forever. so its time to step up. ive decided to no longer be scared. to trust myself. to be able to say no. ive said no to so many other things in my life, why shouldnt i be able to say no to this? i was just as addicted if not worse to bulimia and ive made it through that. this should be no different. i used to think that i wouldnt be able to say no if drugs were presented to me but seriously? am i going to live in denial and hide from them? so what if theres a person smoking weed on the street.. im not going to run up to them and ask for some. i just need to be smart, and not put myself in situations that i dont need to be in. not find my way into groups of people that arnt good for me. i know some people who decided to try some stuff this summer for the first time and seriously.. yeah that made me mad. like whats the point? everyones turning 18 this year and you get to drink.. legally and out in clubs and shit. is that not enough? why does everyone search for a high? im telling you. the high might be good, but when you come down.. its usually not worth it. plus if you loved the high so much your bound to do it again. so is it worth it? either your hooked, or you hate it. i dont know, your choice. just doesnt seem logical to me. yet i did it all. call me stupid, call me whatever you want. i made mistakes, god knows ive made MANY mistakes. ive learned from them, but thats only because i got help and got past my addictions. not everyone gets out.