went for a walk around the lakes here with leif. was really nice and sunny, and hot and sticky as well. but i’m not complaining. it was good to get out for a bit. get some fresh air. stop thinking.

for a swedish summer this weather is normally out of the question. not anymore! today has been yet another beautiful day. sisters been working from home as well so we went for a walk around the lakes here at lunchtime!

now im off to enjoy it even more with my girls, hehe

went out earlier for a brief walk. bought a popsicle and enjoyed the nice weather!

now i’m off to leif’s for dinner. pancakes as usual, gotta keep up the traditions! meeting my sister there as well.

can’t wait to eat leif always makes the best pancakes, big, thin, and delicious. mouth is already watering!

went for a walk with daddy after dinner. didn’t have to go far (if you look carefully, you can see grandma’s house in the background)

just took a quick path through the woods for half an hour, thinking i should start running here soon..

got up early today cause there’s like an open house at the doctor’s office, so i’m going to try and get a couple of things sorted!

i slept fine at first, but as soon at the clock hit 3 i kept rolling around and waking up constantly. so i’m thinking a nap might have to be in order for later..

dad’s dropping me off on the way to work, so let’s hope the walk home doesn’t include rain!

breakfast this morning wasn’t good. i had to force myself to eat a slice of bread and some yogurt while cleaning my room. then when me and Simon finally got off our asses to go to the gym i was hungry again.. there wasn’t any lunch at home so i decided to get something at tesco’s on the way. mistake. nothing looked appealing. i found a salad i liked, but of course there wasn’t any plastic forks so how was i supposed to eat it, with my hands? so i put that back. didn’t want another one of their nasty sandwiches.. so i opted for a chicken pasta thing. got a bottle of water and thought i was set! i was already frustrated cause i didn’t get any food that i actually felt like eating, and i hate spending money on food. i think it’s a waste. the less i buy the less i eat.. makes sense no? but it’s not good for me i know. either way we started walking towards the gym while i was eating, and well after two bites i wanted to be sick. the pasta made my mouth taste like poison and the chicken just made my stomach churn, not cause it tasted bad but because i didn’t want to eat. i didn’t want to eat. i didn’t want it. i didn’t want to add more to my stomach. it felt stupid eating before a work out. what’s the point? but you can’t work out on an empty stomach, it’s not smart. i broke down and started crying, and poor simon was so confused. it’s hard when i can’t explain what’s going on, half the time i don’t even know! i was just so frustrated that my ed thoughts are coming back. i was mad at myself, the eating disorder, everything. i was upset, and frustrated. but we kept walking, i ended up throwing away the pasta cause i couldn’t bare to look at it. i didn’t want it. simon said he wouldn’t let me work out on an empty stomach so we went into somerfields and i bought a banana and a smoothie. it filled me up and it wasn’t as difficult to eat. i don’t know why the pasta was so hard but it was. it was like Ed was set on me not eating it, i wasn’t allowed and i listened. next time i’ll make the choices, i’ll pick something i will eat. i will eat it. i’m sick of ed bossing me around. i want to eat without any worries, i want to just eat. just be.

american apparel tulip skirt with my nordstroms boots and a tank. nothing special. going for a long walk now! wish my feet luck.

ahh see! dad sitting on the park bench and enjoying the sun. we went back to stephens green, not on purpose just ended up there. we got some left over bread and went down to feed elliott, but he was nowhere in sight. so we walked and ended up there. stopped at a store bought two muffins and a diet coke for me and a coffee for papi. it was so nice to just sit in the sun. the wind was nowhere to be found so it was warm. almost too warm for my uggs. i was going to feed the swans and ducks there, but by the looks of all the people and bread around they werent hungry so i ended up sitting next to an old lady feeding the pigeons. yep. thats me. 

then after soaking up all the sun we could get we went on a further walk. ended up seeing the first pub i ever went to in Dublin go up in flames. heres a picture of the firefighters trying to put the fire out. crazy smoke and water flowing on the street outside.

we then continued our ‘little’ walk that turned into a 5 hour walk. we ended up at irelands oldest pub! dad had a guinness like usual. from the pictures i put up it looks like hes an alcoholic. i swear he doesnt drink that much he works too! he works ten times more than he drinks, i just dont find those pictures interesting. 

after all of that we then went to have dinner at diwali or something like that.. indian food. i like! no i love! i had masala with chick peas. yummy yummy. then we walked home too. by the time we got home i was HOT from the speed walking and the sun and just my luck.. the elevator was broken. so up we go 6 flights of stairs. makes me wonder if all i do at the gym does nothing for me? times like those im happy we dont live in the penthouse! anyways i think i got my fair share of exercise today even if i didnt go to the gym this morning!

yep. thats what my ‘walk’ turned into. me and dad went into the city centre for a ’snack’ we passed a japanese restaurant and i havent eaten edamame in SEVEN months. so dad drank a beer, and we both got our own bowl of edamame. yummy in my tummy.

then we decided to go to the st. stevens green park. always walked by it but never in it so why not? turns out its actually very pretty. swans and many many flowers. its so weird that such a calm place exists in the middle of a bustling city!

now im sitting here listening to funhouse, getting ready for the pink concert this weekend while dad makes dinner. taco friday! loves it. miss you emmelie.

its friday??? where have i been? im sitting here reading this girls blog and all of the sudden i come across the fact that its friday. jesus. weeks just fly by. today im finally feeling better. i mean i still have cramps like no other and my head hurts a bit but its NOTHING compared to the last couple of days. when i woke up today dad was gone. no clue where he disappeared to really, but its okay im a big girl. im going to take a shower (finally!) and get myself ready (for what? nothing actually) but just being able to get ready makes me feel un-sick. loves it. then ive decided that im going on a walk. i need to get out of this apartment. plus its not raining today so gotta take advantage of that too! SUNDAYS THE PINK CONCERT! WHOOOO HOOOO  :) 

oh and im doing a before and after the shower pictures heheh. heres the before..