i think not. didn’t realize this until now but a cop in fort worth was arrested a couple of weeks back for smoking marijuana.. in his cop car!! it was set up after someone had reported they saw him smoking in his uniform. so when he arrested a citizen with marijuana, instead of reporting it like he should have he kept it himself. i am so not surprised. i’ve always said this happened. the amount of weed people smoke in dallas/fort worth is ridiculous anyways. to the point where even police can’t seem to see where the boundary of right and wrong goes? thoughts?

Marijuana: A drug derived from the dried and ground leaves and stems of the female hemp plant, Cannabis sativa.

yesterday was 4/20, a typical day for some, but so much more for others. it’s known as a ‘holiday’ for people who smoke weed (cannabis/mary jane/marijuana). People get together to just smoke. to bask in the loveliness that is marijuana. 2 years ago i would’ve been right beside those people. I would’ve been toking up because it seemed like a good idea at the time. I don’t advocate or condone the usage of marijuana, to be honest i couldn’t care less anymore. Whatever decision you make at the end of the day, that’s up to you. you live with your own choices, and you deal with the consequences. I just find it funny how i can be at such a different place in only two years time. people can and people do change.

thoughts on marijuana?

i was just looking on PerezHilton.com and came across this quote from Megan Fox,

“Usually smoke weed and watch Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood.”

– Transformers Megan Fox, revealing what she does in her spare time when asked by a British newspaper about how she likes to relax

um, how do you guys feel about celebrities being open about there marijuana usage? Brad Pitt recently came out saying that he thinks marijuana should be legalized and that he used to smoke. so does that mean he still smokes? does Angelina Jolie smoke too? hmm.. legalize or dont legalize, its not going to stop people from smoking weed. sorry, hate to break it to you.

so i googled (yes, google is the answer to EVERY question) drug statistics and i found the DEA website. holy shit! look at the difference between new york, california, and texas! i took a look at some of the other states as well but none of them even compared.

California
Cocaine: 8,508.5 kgs.
Heroin: 377.6 kgs.
Methamphetamine: 2,236.2 kgs.
Marijuana: 187,627.1 kgs.
Hashish: 25.9 kgs
MDMA: 7.6 kgs/318,151 du
Meth Lab Incidents: 346 (DEA, state, and local)

New York
Cocaine: 1,481.1 kgs.
Heroin: 279.3 kgs
Methamphetamine: 7.1 kgs.
Marijuana: 2,820.7 kgs.
Hashish: 79.3 kgs
MDMA: 0.6 kgs/159,831 du
Methamphetamine Laboratories: 9 (DEA, state, and local)

and then there’s texas…

Cocaine: 9,487.6 kgs.
Heroin: 141.6kgs.
Methamphetamine: 783.6 kgs.
Marijuana: 570,793.1 kgs.
Hashish: 0.5 kgs.
MDMA: 0.0 kgs./69,341 du
Meth Lab Incidents: 112 (DEA, state, and local)

okay so the state i lived in and did drugs in, had less meth lab incidents but more cocaine, and marijuana seized. its funny that the mdma is so low cause i know there’s ecstasy around there somewhere! this is ridiculous the two things i abused the most of course texas has the most of it! jesus. so disturbing. if i ever move back to texas, so be it. i will never, NEVER, allow my kids to grow up there. i will not put them through the same bullshit i had to deal with. i wasnt mature enough to see it. i am now. i cant believe my sister could even look at me. my parents even stood out with me! i was an immature, selfish, stuck up, plano kid. yup. i thought the world revolved around me. that i could just drive home drunk and there would be no consequences. that i was untouchable. well guess what im not! and i couldnt take the shit that was presented to me. so i turned to bulimia. yuck. never again.

and definitely not in a good way. it just makes my blood boil. yeah thinking of snorting cocaine gets me a mental high, its like it takes me back to where i used to be. but i hate it. i hate the fact that one drug ruled so much of my life. some nights ill have dreams of me doing drugs and ill wake up my heart POUNDING and in a sweat. its not a pleasant feeling. specially not when you start believing its true, you have to slap yourself and realize i did not take those drugs again, it was just a dream. its like the drugs are still in my system and playing games with my brain. either way this ‘new’ drug, scares the living hell of out me. not because i think its more dangerous that any of the other drugs its just that i can easily see some people i know trying it and getting hooked. i knew from the first time i snorted cocaine that i loved the drug. it was the only drug i craved and would go out of my way to get.  ketamine, formally used as a date rape drug is not becoming a fad. yeah you snort it but its a different high from cocaine. its also said to be the most popular drug at festivals this summer. i know people who are going to festivals, and are willing to try new things. hopefully those people arnt as stupid as i was. everyones entitled to make their own mistakes but seriously.. cant you make do with alcohol? your at a festival enjoying yourself with friends, its something to remember! dont ruin it by taking drugs and not being able to remember anything. this drug is a lot more powerful that you think it is. a gram of ketamine puts out a horse, A HORSE. seriously. i dont know what else i can say to make you guys understand. half of the people wont read this and after all my ranting it seems i wont be able to get it through to them either. i guess everyones bound to try things for themselves, but afterwards ill have to tell you i told you so.

‘Despite the fact that 420 is celebrating an illegal drug, it is still considered a holiday by millions. And on 4/20, those millions gather around the world to celebrate not only the use of marijuana, but also the positive impact they hope it will have on the world.’

yeah call me a nerd but im researching 420. also known as April 20th. the day that represents cannabis culture. people get together to smoke, some do it alone to protest and work towards legalization. i remember one year coming to school and id say 80% of the students were high. not me though. seems as though all the drugs and smoking i did never coincided with 420. every once in a while id get together with some friends and we would light up at 4:20 p.m. but thats about as close as ive gotten to the true holiday. question is should we legalize marijuana? pros? cons? well theres a different story for every side. i wanna hear yours!

loves.

The more i think about it the stupider i think i sound. seriously.. i cant stay scared for the rest of my life of drugs. there will ALWAYS be drugs out there, always someone who takes them. always someone who grows, deals, transports. im not going to be able to hide for forever. so its time to step up. ive decided to no longer be scared. to trust myself. to be able to say no. ive said no to so many other things in my life, why shouldnt i be able to say no to this? i was just as addicted if not worse to bulimia and ive made it through that. this should be no different. i used to think that i wouldnt be able to say no if drugs were presented to me but seriously? am i going to live in denial and hide from them? so what if theres a person smoking weed on the street.. im not going to run up to them and ask for some. i just need to be smart, and not put myself in situations that i dont need to be in. not find my way into groups of people that arnt good for me. i know some people who decided to try some stuff this summer for the first time and seriously.. yeah that made me mad. like whats the point? everyones turning 18 this year and you get to drink.. legally and out in clubs and shit. is that not enough? why does everyone search for a high? im telling you. the high might be good, but when you come down.. its usually not worth it. plus if you loved the high so much your bound to do it again. so is it worth it? either your hooked, or you hate it. i dont know, your choice. just doesnt seem logical to me. yet i did it all. call me stupid, call me whatever you want. i made mistakes, god knows ive made MANY mistakes. ive learned from them, but thats only because i got help and got past my addictions. not everyone gets out.