So the other day i went all out on grocery shopping, bought loads of healthy food cause i felt like it was time for me to get back into the routine of things. If i do say so myself i make quite nice vegetarian fajitas! can’t be too unhealthy apart from the bread and salsa?

Joined a new gym today, it’s barely a ten minute walk up the street from my flat and i’m really happy with it. Had a good work out today, and hope to go at least three times a week from now on. With the price i’m paying i better stick to this!

got my grades today. did rather well for a change, so now here i am at my parents home just relaxing. truth is i planned on loosing some weight whilst i was here, but now all i want to do is lay in and watch tv and eat ridiculously good food.. is that bad?

There’s a swedish blogger who is rather rich and famous, she’s gained weight in the last couple of years it’s pretty obvious yet she’s happy with who she is (at least she says so). She’s curvy and enjoys food, there’s nothing wrong with that. i think it’s important to remember that there’s nothing wrong with being skinny either.

me.. im on the curvy side and even if i enjoy food, i don’t enjoy my body. but i know that there are those people out there who don’t have curves, and that can’t be the easiest battle either.

i think it’s brave to embrace your own body and i just wish i could be happy with mine!

im struggling to keep sane. i dont know if it is because im stressed. i dont know if its because of uni or if its because of my body. but either way i hate mirrors. i hate my body. i hate the way i look. i hate the way my stomach creates a roll that sits on top of my pants when i sit down. i hate the way my boobs look in every single last bra i own. i hate the way my armpits fold. i hate how big my thighs have become. i hate how my legs and tummy jiggle when i walk.

i hate the way i feel about myself.

i want to wake up in the morning and not have my first thought be able how much weight ive gained in the last couple of months.

i want to get ready for my lectures and be happy with how i look. i want to be happy.

i hate having this cloud following me around, because i can’t get rid of it. i may not show it, but every minute of the day i think about food, and what it will do to my body. i dont want to be back in this place. it makes me unhappy and confused. why am i here?

so over christmas i’m going to work out. im going to get fit again, i want to walk up a flight of stairs and not feel out of breath. i want to look in the mirror and see toned muscles. i just want to be able to tolerate my body again. i want to eat healthy, and i want to be able to eat without hating myself every bite of the way.

i just want to be okay with what i look like.

just been going through a tough time recently. everything just seems to be falling apart. i feel like doing a britney spears, shave my hair off, gain loads of weight, and just in general lose it. all my clothes feel like rags ive picked out of the garbage, my hair feels like it is fried and just doesnt look good no matter what i do, my body hates me and i hate it, everything just feels wrong. three more weeks and then i can work on getting myself back together, or maybe even go find myself again.

Sat here with 400g of toblerone chocolate on my lap, and apparently forgetting about my “beach body” I’m meant to be working for…

Maybe it’s time to come to the conclusion that body image+me will never = satisfaction

just had a bit of a work out with the boys. not much to be fair just a bit of weights and some abs, need to get fit again. i’ve gotten soft :/

just made myself another cup of tea and opened a bag of swedish candy.

realized that every time i study i want something sweet.. is this why students always put on weight? (forget the binge drinking, i think it’s all the studying we do )